Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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