Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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