I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
