He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
