How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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