Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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