Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
