okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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