I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
two words...techno handjob
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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