I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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