It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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