I will die if light touches me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
