Buhtt sex?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
