We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
