Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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