Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
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