i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
