dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
