I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
