one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
