I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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