yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
