i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize