At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
