I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
