I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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