is your mom at the bar?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
