She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
