I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
