I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
