"it" just moved
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Four minutes until I can fart!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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