I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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