I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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