the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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