fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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