Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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