Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
