woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
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