That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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