She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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