So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
