I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
