I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I yelled at your uterus for you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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