i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she told me i tasted like america
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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