well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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