Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
