by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize