I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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