Only a mothe r could love this liver
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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