He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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