we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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