dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
