Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
