Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯