I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller