Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.