Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
