ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm passing your future prison.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
