You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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