when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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