why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
