Sry I called you an 8
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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