I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
