girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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