i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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