Acid is not a monday night drug
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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