Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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