Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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