Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
where are you?
Hypothermia
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
